26th of June 2009

I took a couple of photos of it, and I'll keep them here for when I'm ready to look at it.

There was blood all over the seat, my blood I suppose. It's hard to accept I was in there. Impossible to understand how I survived it. I still can't remember a thing about it, not what happened before, during or after until I woke up in the hospital.

I was on a ship, she was going down fast and I took my last breath, but then Alcyone appeared - and saved me from the deep. I swam with her for the light, but when I got there, she was gone and I was in hospital.

The tow-truck driver was there at the scrap yard today. He told me my heart stopped three times at the crash scene, but I was resuscitated by the trauma nurse who was first on the scene. It's a miracle she was there at the time, just after midnight, on her way down the coast for the long weekend after finishing work. She had a trauma kit in her boot. Someone was looking after me.

He said there were two ambulances, cops and the local fire-brigade all there - fighting to keep me alive while they tried to free my broken body from the wreck. My truck was suspended over a gully, and they were worried about using chain saws to cut me out because she ran on gas. In the end they chanced it because the nurse said I wasn't going to make it.

He showed me how my seat-belt broke on impact, saving my life, 'cause the steering column would have gone right through my chest if I hadn't fallen sideways.

I loved that truck, and I feel awful seeing her in that state. She was more than a truck, more than a project, she was a companion, and I totally f****d her over.

I can only thank the heavens that nobody else was hurt, that I crashed into a tree and not another vehicle, but I still don't know how I got there.

I'm really tired now, this has sapped all the strength out of me. I can't make sense of it, and how it fits together.

I wish Alcyone would just turn up here and fill in the blanks. I know it would all make sense once I saw her.

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